


A Time to Heal

by Rivulet027



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Alternate Universe, Character Death, F/F, Post-Canon, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-30
Updated: 2011-03-30
Packaged: 2017-10-17 09:45:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/175517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rivulet027/pseuds/Rivulet027
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Settling in after leaving Sunnydale Buffy has a conversation with Tara. This allows Buffy to see that the attraction is mutual.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Time to Heal

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with BTVS. It’s not my toy box, I’m merely playing.  
> A/N: Written for femslash 2010. This is an AU where Willow died instead of Tara so warning I mention char death.

Buffy leaned in the doorway, taking in Tara who was laying quietly on the bed her in newly acquired room. She waited until Tara noticed her, eyes shifting over to meet hers. A small smile gave her permission to enter. Buffy stood there a moment longer admiring Tara, realizing once again that she loved the young women looking at her and yet knowing she couldn’t act on her want.

Still, Buffy toed out of her shoes and joined Tara on the bed. She still brought up a hand to run through Tara’s hair as Tara wrapped an arm around her and laid her head on Buffy’s shoulder.

“How are you holding up?” Buffy asked.

Tara gave her a small smile, “I should get up, help settle everyone in, but it was so nice to lay down and pretend the room was mine, if only for a little while.”

Buffy smiled as she revealed, “You don’t get a roommie.”

“I don’t?”

Buffy nodded as she explained, “Giles figured it out and this place is overly huge. We’ll probably have to start sharing after we find the girls you activated, it’ll just depend on the number.”

Tara tilted her head, frowned for a moment as she found her voice, “Y-You’re not angry?”

“Why would I be angry?”

“I borrowed from Dawn,” Tara reminded, the guilt evident on her face.

“You asked her first and you borrowed from Kennedy too,” Buffy told her.

“I feel bad about that too,” Tara said as her grip on Buffy tightened, “She thought it meant something, that she’d finally gotten me interested, not that I thought she was the strongest of the potentials.”

Buffy’s hand paused in its slow path through Tara’s hair, “She’s still trying to get with you?”

Tara nodded.

“Is she…” Buffy trailed off not sure what she wanted to ask, not sure if she could form words that made sense. While a part of her wanted to see Tara move on after Willow’s death, it would be part of the healing process, she still found the idea difficult. Willow had been her best friends for years, it still hurt that they’d lost her. Buffy wasn’t sure she could watch Tara move on. For Tara to move on it would mean that Willow was really gone and yet, Buffy reminded herself, it would mean that they were healing. Buffy also wasn’t sure that she could watch Tara move on with another person, not after she’d realized she loved her.

“She’s being respectful,” Tara said, as she snuggled just that bit more into Buffy, “She thinks I just need time to heal and that I’m being overly firm on that fact. She doesn’t seem to get that I’m not interested in her.”

“You’re not?” Buffy asked, surprised.

“Nope,” Tara said, “I thought about it, gave her some thought and I’m just not. I feel bad, but I’m just not interested.”

Relieved Buffy’s hand began its slow journey through Tara’s hair again, “You thought about it?”

Was she relieved that Tara gave a relationship a thought or was she relieved that Tara wasn’t interested in Kennedy?

“She was trying so hard,” Tara said, “It only seemed fair to think about it, but I couldn’t be with someone I wasn’t attracted to, no matter how lonely I am.”

Buffy frowned, “Lonely?”

Tara glanced up at her and Buffy brushed a strand of hair out of her face at their eyes met.

“I’m still sad some days, but my heart is healing,” Tara said, “There are even days when I’d like to date again.”

Buffy nodded. They were all working on healing, all drawing strength from each other, but there were still days losing Willow hurt, while there were other days where it almost felt they had healed.

“I know what you mean,” Buffy agreed.

“The healing part or the dating part?” Tara said, voice lightly teasing.

“Both.”

“Anyone in particular?” Tara asked.

Buffy glanced away. She wanted to reveal the truth, wanted to say that it was Tara who had captured her heart over the last few months as they had worked diligently with the rest of their friends to save the Potentials and defeat The First.

Had they actually won? It almost seemed impossible.

“I wasn’t sure if we were going to win,” Buffy managed, “I thought this might be it for all of us, for the world.”

“We pulled through,” Tara said, then frowned, “We still lost a lot.”

“We did,” Buffy agreed, “I know I’m being totally selfish, but I’m grateful to still have Dawn, Xander, Giles and you.”

“No, that’s being human,” Tara reminded, “I’ve always thought it was normal to be grateful not to lose your loved ones.”

“And here I thought normal was shopping for a new pair of shoes that go perfectly with my new favorite outfit,” Buffy teased, wanting a lighter mood.

Tara smiled slightly, hand stirring momentarily, then wrapping around Buffy again.

“I’m grateful we didn’t lose you,” Tara told her, eyes smiling slightly.

Buffy returned the smile and asked, “Anyone in particular for you?”

A part of her wanted the answer, wanted to dash her own hopes because that’s all her crush, her want, her love was, a hope. Another part of her wished she’d kept her mouth shut so that she wouldn’t have that hope crushed.

“I-I,” Tara started then trailed off before she managed, “I wasn’t sure I’m ready and I wasn’t sure you were ready either.”

Buffy stilled.

Tara blushed and looked away.

Buffy started running her hand through Tara’s hair again, “I like being like this with you, but I…”

Tara glanced upward again and when Buffy didn’t find the words she prompted, “Yeah?”

“I wasn’t ready to admit that she was really gone and I wasn’t sure you’d even want me,” Buffy managed.

Tara shifted, till their faces were close, “I’m not even sure I’m ready, but I don’t want us to keep dancing around each other.”

“Could lead to badness,” Buffy agreed.

“It could,” Tara smiled.

“And we are so against badness,” Buffy nodded.

“Right.”

Their lips met briefly, igniting all the half started moments of the past. Tara drew closer as Buffy cupped her face, their lips meeting again and moving in tandem, into a kiss that promised of friendships continued and expanded. A kiss that promised both were ready to try and heal together.


End file.
